Hang out with joyful people

Psychologist John Gottman says that in order to consider a relationship a positive one, we need five positive interactions for every negative one. The point: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you, and give a wide berth to those who criticize and deplete you.

Move consistently towards your Goals

Make commitments – and then make a point of keeping your word. ‘The greatest dreams will not be accomplished without discipline and daily effort – and that process brings joy,’ says the Reverend A.R Bernard, pastor of New York’s Christian Cultural Center. ‘It’s about doing the ordinary things extraordinarily well.’

Meditate on your Blessings

End each day by recalling three moments that made you feel truly grateful – anything from a gorgeous sunrise to the smile of a loved one. Practice sitting in quiet contemplation or prayer, says Burton, who is also the author of Listen to your Life. Then keep track of your blessings in a gratitude journal.

Be good to Yourself

Eat nourishing food and get six to eight hours of sleep every night.

Connect with Others

Be intentional about building strong bonds with other people. ‘Your social relationships are a powerful predictor of happiness, much more so than money,’ writes Daniel Gilbert in his book Stumbling on Happiness. Indeed, a 2002 University of Illinois study showed that participants who reported the highest level of happiness also reported the strongest ties to friends and family.

Go to church – any Church

A 2006 Pew Research report revealed that those who attend weekly services – of any faith – indicate that they feel much happier than those who attend once a month or less.

Give and Forgive

Holding on to resentment and anger is an emotional weight that robs you of your joy. Just let it go. ‘Happiness is spiritual peace – peace with God, with yourself and with others,’ explains Bernard. And while you’re handing out pardons, give away a few other things, too: Generosity makes us feel as if we’re making a difference by creating an environment of connection and love.

Being single and loving it will attract others to you. So how do you create a happy you and bag a great relationship in the process?The key is to focus on what makes you happy when you do this you will have one result. You will be happy. Happiness is a choice! Lets try a quick experiment. Think of something that makes you sad and what do you get? Now focus on something that made you laugh out loud and now what do you get? Spend 30 seconds on each. Try it now before you read on……..

If you did this you will have created for two different sets of emotions purely based on thought. It’s impossible to have a happy thought at the same time as a sad one. So your goal is to focus on what makes you consistently happy and is not conditional on anything, such as finding Mr or Mrs Perfect.

Material possesions and people don’t make us happy long term, they are just short term fixes. If you have ever bought a car you will love it to start with, and before long you take it for granted and it’s no longer exciting. If you have bought a dress, a month later you find yourself saying I’ve got nothing to wear. The only person that can create long term happiness in us and and improve the relationship we have with ourselves… is us!

Money does not create happiness. Having the model figure does not make us happy. The proof is out there. There are plenty of miserable models in rehab or millionaires who are lonely so “stuff” is not the answer. What makes us happy is how we experience the world that we create.

If you are able to maintain a positive emotion in most situations, and look at bad experiences as learning opportunities, then you are almost there!

What do you really want?

Now is the time to stop looking for the perfect relationship and to focus and explore you. What is it that really makes you happy? What have you always wanted to do but were scared to try? What do you love about your life today and what could you do more of that creates those great feelings? The goal is to love and respect you. What could you do today, in the next week, over the next few months that would show you love and respect. How could you show yourself that you can now trust yourself to make sure you are happy every day.

This feeling of happiness creates a powerful feeling of independence and self-esteem. This is the feeling you need to be more attractive. What’s more important than how attractive you are, is how you feel about you.

The relationship hoppers are the people to avoid. They are the ones who need you to make them happy as they have not yet discovered how to look after their own needs.